V16 arrived.

The Endorsed KCNR Newspaper.
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Yezpahr
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Wed Mar 05, 2014 4:41 am

ImageKCNR Newspaper
Cluckin' Times
Wed Mar 05, 2014

Content:
1. Did You Know
2. Horoscopes
3. Market
4. Stunt Of The Week
5. Press Content.
6. LottoWinners
7. Quote of The Week
8. Secrets

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1. Did You Know?
TeamSpeak needs more regulars, this is the IP: ts.lvcnr.eu

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2. Horoscopes
http://i46.tinypic.com/18229x.png Ophiuchus - NotUsed

Image Aries (Ram) - Driver
Stay yourself (as in, don't change back to kidnapper when he's in your car ^^)

Image Taurus - SWAT
You're brimming with energy today. Don't waste it on fools, use it properly.

Image Gemini - Innocent
There are too many of your kind. So much to do, so little motivation.

Image Cancer - Garbageman
DM-Events are your chance to shine (and earn a shitton of score on corpses)

Image Leo - Leo
You have it too easy. And you still complain. Noobs.

Image Virgo - Mechanic
Lots of people need you, but nobody seems to know it. Advertise yourself, you can be a vital part of the game, just do it!

Image Libra - Kidnapper
Discussions and arguments are your main occupation apparently. Don't be another Supercell/yolonoob570/Six_Sex_Hydra

Image Scorpio - Armsdealer
Give up on hatred! Join Enmity's Extremity!

Image Sagittarius - Conartist
Did you by any chance try out some hacks are now feeling the burn? Don't get tempted next time.

Image Capricorn (The Sea Goat)- Medic
The relation between you and others are dangerous. You heal them but you get a few shells of buckshot in your face as a thank-you note. Be careful about who you heal... some might retaliate o.o

Image Aquarius - Drugsdealer
Jail is lonely... very very lonely...

Image Pisces - Firefighter
OMG, it's time for a change, how long have you guys been doing the same run over and over and over and over and over... and yes, even over and over and over.

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3. Market

Yezpahr:
Selling Fishing Shack

Price: $750.000.000,- (non-negotiable)
Tax: $88.520,-

FwP's wish/sell list:
http://lvcnr.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=14794

Kent_BoBo's wishlist:
Magenta or Black Top Hat
http://lvcnr.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=14789

PuRe's Wishlist:
http://lvcnr.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=14707


Your message/sale/request here? It costs $20K. Donators have 1 free application per newspaper. Contact Yezpahr.

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4. Stun Special - Conference Center



(credits to Kent_BoBo for stunt and Forcezx for embed)
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5. Press Content.

Version 16!
Version 16 brought loads of new things to explore.
Read the updates here: http://lvcnr.net/newwebsite/version-16/

Most notable additions of V16:
- New skins in class selection
- New calton heights church
- /rp now requires coprank 3
- Rapist/Hitman skills removed
- Moved LV drug point location (to come-a-lot)

Update-Mania
Kar changed the weekly/monthly update-session to a near-daily update where the server gets fixed for the current biggest flaws.

Frostbite
This bot, made by Fuet, has gone through several updates.
There's now a DM-stat counter for events and a few other commands players can use.

Statistics counter:
The counter made by Peter now has an adjustable size, a few bugfixes and all it needs it more users.
Check out this page: http://lvcnr.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=1216

Bug-Hunt: (retweeted)
Posting a bug report that has high sensitivity, and can possibly be abused to the extreme, will be worth something for you! The admin team offers $1M to the authors of the next sensitivite bug-reports (after it gets confirmed+fixed), yes all VERY sensitive bug reports will get a reward!

The newspaper is looking for ACTIVE crew.
Let yourself be heard, there's plenty of stuff in-game, but if I'm the only one gathering news then it's gonna stay real boring the way it is.

Cuz yet again, the only thing I find interesting about the newspaper is the regular SWAT and quote which are up next.

I would like more content, but if I can't be active enough to gather all the interesting news, then I can't deliver it. Help me out folks, apply for the job here:
http://lvcnr.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=36&t=10997

SWAT

New SWAT since Last Edition:
Dodge
PuRe
hohoheho (readd)
shaneovsina (readd)
..Rajah..
CryteK
Johnny1000 (readd)
SpartanGladiator
johnnys


Promotions since Last Edition:
Yezpahr - Vice Commander (temp)
aimandkill - Captain / Vice Commander (temp)
Tarek_Fouad - Captain
kent_BoBo - Sergeant
shaneovsina - Sergeant
Krypton - FTO (readd)

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6. LottoWinners
This list is too long lol...
Can't post it.

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7. Quote of The Week

ID: 370) [04:08:33 GMT+1:00] <+Jessicap> Krypton(19)(Innocent): I AINT A PISSING ADMIN, SO STOP ASKING ME -- By Yezpahr

Find your own fun quotes in here, maybe somebody quoted you and you haven't found out yet :o
Anonymous her Quotes-page (active DB)

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8. Secrets
There's these white areas in LS....... hmm, maybe you should go check 'em out to see what they remind you of.

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That's it!
Thanks for reading.

-Yez
Image KCNR Press
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God made the Dutch as the finishing touch.
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Kent
Gangsta Clucker
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Wed Mar 05, 2014 1:52 pm

well I also got another promotion man,

anyways nice we finally get another newspaper
And I helped
I'm so stoned I don't remember what I said in the beginning of this sentence.
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Yezpahr wrote:You're a young, blind, antfucking, down syndrome faggot, fucked in the anus by your own uncle. Geez, grow the fuck up you boner biting bastard.
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Satan
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Wed Mar 05, 2014 1:58 pm

I am happy to say that a new section to The Cluckin' Times will be happening now "Krypton's Interviews".

I will be asking 8 questions to different players every two days which will get their views about the server and what makes them keep coming back and what their inspiration is for playing !
"Satan is the master distracter. He is always working to keep us off track in our walk with God."

"Satan ultimately represents rebellion."

"God is the Creator; Satan is the counterfeiter."!
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Wolvey
Big Clucker
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Wed Mar 05, 2014 4:35 pm


embed with https due to phpbb being retarded

Nice edition as always though!
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PM|-|
Big Clucker
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Thu Mar 06, 2014 1:19 pm

no offence this edition is not that good
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Yezpahr
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Thu Mar 06, 2014 8:14 pm

PM|-| wrote:no offence this edition is not that good
If you compared it to the other editions, those editions aren't any different, they all suck.
×*ׯ¯¯ Serial Rapist ¯¯¯¯×*×
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God made the Dutch as the finishing touch.
PM|-|
Big Clucker
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Fri Mar 07, 2014 6:43 am

Yezpahr wrote:
PM|-| wrote:no offence this edition is not that good
If you compared it to the other editions, those editions aren't any different, they all suck.
no, they all didn't made us wait for 3months. they all contained better sercrets than white map lol.. alteast u should've told what does white map indicates? Secrets are to be revealed, not to make another mystery
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Yezpahr
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Fri Mar 07, 2014 10:41 pm

Well, if you would have gone there and looked around, then you would have seen what those things were. Giving out that mystery would fuck me up. period.
×*ׯ¯¯ Serial Rapist ¯¯¯¯×*×
×*ׯ¯¯¯ Pot head ¯¯¯¯¯¯×*×
×*ׯPart of The LvMafia¯×*×
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God made the Dutch as the finishing touch.
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Big Clucker
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Sat Mar 08, 2014 10:46 am

Yezpahr wrote:Well, if you would have gone there and looked around, then you would have seen what those things were. Giving out that mystery would fuck me up. period.
i remember when u told a 'bug' as a secret in the newspaper so i don't think revealing this mystery would fuck you up.
the bugged vehicles of docks.
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Threshold
The Cluckin' Godfather
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Sat Mar 08, 2014 11:45 am

PM|-| wrote:
Yezpahr wrote:Well, if you would have gone there and looked around, then you would have seen what those things were. Giving out that mystery would fuck me up. period.
i remember when u told a 'bug' as a secret in the newspaper so i don't think revealing this mystery would fuck you up.
the bugged vehicles of docks.
His job might be easier is Kar actually introduced 'secrets' into the game, which you know he clearly fucking doesn't. So shut up and go find your own secrets. Why has it not clicked that nobody wants you here, nobody listens to your opinion, nobody... cares... what you have to say. Go.. away.
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